I am a lifelong Notre Dame football fan. It started when my dad had us watch the games every Saturday growing up, and my dedication to the team (and the outcome of their games) only intensified when I was a student there. Being present in the animated student section made me feel like I had a bit more skin in the game, so to speak.
The first decade or so after graduating, I was still intensely committed to the outcome of every Notre Dame football game. It’s difficult to admit, but I may have even thought that if I watched the games in the same place each week, wearing the same Notre Dame shirt while praying the same frantic Hail Mary every time there was a run for the endzone, it might have a positive effect on how the game turned out.
In 2012, Notre Dame went 12-0 and made it into the national championship. My oldest son was due the Friday before the championship game. Also difficult to admit, I was a little grateful he decided to wait an extra week to make his entrance, just so I could have my full focus on the game. When my team was losing pretty badly at halftime, I had the fleeting thought that it was because I chose to watch this final game at a different location (one closer to the hospital) than the first 12.
Now I realize all of these thoughts are nonsensical. No matter what I wear, where I watch, or how many Hail Marys escape my lips, I have no effect on the outcome of a football game. After all, I am not, nor have I ever been, a player on the field. Still, the roller coaster of emotions I feel while watching the game, especially when it’s close, is intense!
What about the times in life when I am a part of the team and do have an effect on the outcome of a given situation or “game”? What are the tools I rely upon to keep patient and in balance while the game unfolds? During these times, St. Ignatius gives me three gentle reminders.
1. Release my grip.
Like a player holding the ball at a key play, I have to be willing to loosen my grip on the outcome of a given situation to be truly free. If I am showing up and giving my best, then at some point, I must release the outcome and trust that it will lead somewhere good or that God will help me find a new way forward if it doesn’t.
2. Pay attention to my emotions.
The longer a given situation takes to reach its conclusion, the more unsettled my emotions tend to become. Just think of the range of emotions that occur when watching a game go into overtime! As my patience wanes, I often am aware of how disappointment can take root in me before I even know if there is something to be disappointed about. That can color everything. Being cognizant of the range of emotions inside me, acknowledging their origins, and bringing them to God in prayer helps me maintain focus on what is instead of just what might be.
3. Assume good will.
When the outcome looks like it might be good, sometimes I internally start taking all the credit. But when the outcome seems to be heading in the wrong direction, I start playing the blame game instead. I note unfair calls or teammates’ actions that might be hindering our progress. Ignatius reminds me that, more often than not, everyone on a team shows up with the best intentions, and team members do the best they can with a given set of circumstances. Assuming good will helps me balance my emotional responses and retain my commitment to the team and our progress.
What are the tools you rely upon to keep patient and in balance while the game unfolds?
Image by Tomislav Jakupec from Pixabay.
