The Audacity to Change

Editor’s note: Throughout July, we’re hosting 31 Days with St. Ignatius, a month-long celebration of Ignatian spirituality. In addition to the calendar of Ignatian articles found here, posts on dotMagis this month will explore the theme of “The Audacity of Ignatian Spirituality.”

Joe’s eyes lit up on seeing his friends walk into the room, and then they filled with tears. The friends knew that Joe was in his final days. They’d discussed it after their last Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting together. They stood shoulder to shoulder, reminiscing about what Joe had done for each one of them in a particular moment of pain.

As they stood there together sharing their memories, one friend said, “I bet Joe could use a meeting about now.” They nodded to each other in unison. Someone said, “Let’s take him one.” The friends agreed on a time to visit.

Joe was a bit of a rock star to their group. He’d shepherded every person in that room through a difficult time, helping them to accept their circumstances. Despite the pain, he’d modeled the audacity to change that helped each one of the friends find the way back to God.

For the alcoholic, change is frightening. Drinking helps the person to avoid facing life as it is. For the family members, trying to fix or control the alcoholic keeps them busy so that they don’t have to look at their own pain. Stepping away from these coping mechanisms seems impossible. This fear of pain becomes so great that regardless of the consequences, these behaviors continue, usually causing another kind of pain. Accepting life on life’s terms was something that Joe felt passionate about. It was a necessary step toward change.

The day of the friends’ visit, Joe was sitting up in a chair beside the bed. His legs were swollen and red. His stomach was enlarged. All of the signs of a failing heart were on full display. Quietly, he reached out to God, praying for help in the midst of his pain. Just as he finished his conversation with God, he heard the door to his room open.

“Hey, Joe, we were in the area and wondered if you needed a meeting.”

“I sure do.”

The friends gathered around him and began the opening that he’d heard thousands of times in his adult life. This was followed by the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This little prayer held the ingredients to serenity: acceptance, courage, and wisdom. All of these ingredients set us up to summon the audacity needed to make the changes we need to make.

Pain can serve as an opportunity to find God. As it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!” Feeling the safety that only God provides fortifies us enough to have the courage to sit in our pain.

As the friends wrapped up their meeting, they lingered for a while, talking with Joe. Everyone knew that this could be the last visit with him. Each person said the things that needed to be said.

Just as Joe had walked with them through difficult periods in their lives, they were now accompanying him in his final days. Love is often found in the midst of pain. As they turned to leave, Joe stopped them. “Just before you came into the room, I’d been praying. I asked God to help me, and then God walked through that door.”

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

Marina Berzins McCoy suggests Storing Up the Water of Consolation in today’s 31 Days with St. Ignatius feature. If you’re finding consolation through #31DayswithIgnatius, let us know by using our hashtag on social media!