HomedotMagisReflectionsThe Audacity of Friendship with God

The Audacity of Friendship with God

older woman in brown cardigan smiling at off-screen friend - photo by Marcus Aurelius on Pexels

Editor’s note: Throughout July, we’re hosting 31 Days with St. Ignatius, a month-long celebration of Ignatian spirituality. In addition to the calendar of Ignatian articles found here, posts on dotMagis this month will explore the theme of “The Audacity of Ignatian Spirituality.”

Many of us who grew up before the reforms of the Second Vatican Council were taught an image of God who was at best a stern parent and at worst a severe judge who had the power to sentence us to eternal damnation. To imagine such a God as a friend was not audacious; it was impossible.

Fortunately, most Catholics in the third millennium are acquainted with a more benevolent God. But a friend?

Who is God for you? I have often asked spiritual directees and retreatants to reflect on this question. I suggest that they make a list of God’s names and focus on the one that has the most meaning for them. Father and Jesus are the most common; Creator, Redeemer, Teacher, and Spirit come up often. I don’t ever remember seeing the word Friend.

Why don’t we dare to think of God as a friend? What is a friend, anyway?

  • Someone we can talk to
    Do you talk to God? It’s easy enough to recite prayers, but really talking to God requires using our own words to express our hopes and fears.
  • Someone we can listen to
    Conversation with God is too often a monologue. We need to be still and listen. God speaks to us in many ways—through the Scriptures, nature, the Eucharist, and good people we know. What is God saying to you?
  • Someone we trust
    Do you trust God? It isn’t as easy as it sounds. We give in to anxiety and fear instead of trusting.
  • Someone who trusts us
    Think of the immense trust involved in God’s giving us free will. Do you act as though you are worthy of that trust?
  • Someone we want to spend time with
    In a world full of noise and distraction, spending time with God is a way to experience stillness and peace.
  • Someone who wants to spend time with us
    Even a few minutes a day is enough for God to draw us to himself, if we’re open to the call.
  • Someone we enjoy sharing a meal with
    When a friend invites us to dinner, we savor it and linger. When Jesus invites us to the Eucharist, do we linger and express our gratitude?
  • Someone we can count on in times of trouble
    This is easy enough for most people. But do we take God for granted?
  • Someone who can count on us in times of trouble
    In a world full of violence and injustice, can God count on us to feed the hungry, welcome the refugee, advocate for justice, work for peace, and pray for our enemies?

If it’s still difficult to think of God as a friend, focus on Jesus. He had friends. One of the closest was Lazarus. In the spirit of Ignatian contemplation, let us imagine ourselves at dinner with Jesus, Lazarus, Martha, and Mary. Imagine the scene: the food, the wine, the conversation on many subjects. What is your friend Jesus saying to you?

An audacious friendship with God? Let us thank the Holy Spirit for the gift of audacity.

Photo by Marcus Aurelius via Pexels.


Are you grateful for friendship with God? Today in 31 Days with St. Ignatius, consider The Gift of Gratitude with Michael Rossmann, SJ. Then share the link to this or any article from our site with the hashtag #31DayswithIgnatius.

Barbara Lee
Barbara Lee
Barbara Lee is a practicing spiritual director who lives in New York City. She is a retired attorney, a former U.S. magistrate judge, and a long-serving member of the Ignatian Volunteer Corps. She is the author of God Isn’t Finished with Me Yet: Discovering the Spiritual Graces of Later Life, Answering God's Call, and Praying Through Pain.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I have a diagnosis that has me peering at a future abyss, it adds weight and time to my Quiet Times and to my forays into a few sites like this one. I know I will not be alone in the Abyss. As long as my memory lasts and i do make copies of some material, to refresh myself, I find valuable content in this site, with several authors i never pass over. I am enjoying more “lasts” and God is a very Good Friend, despite his Throne as depicted in Revelation.

  2. Father Finbar Clancy SJ .RIP.introduced me to the word “Ponder”.
    I am eternally grateful to him. It has helped me re focus my jumbled thoughts in times of need.

    Thank You .
    Yvonne.

  3. Thanks Barbara. You have nicely indicated and described several ways of accepting and reciprocating the gift of friendship. Amazing stuff.

  4. I was blessed to attend a Middle School and High School run by Jesuits, so at that young age I was introduced to Jesus as my friend, which I loved, it didn’t take long for me to see him as my best friend ever since; it has been almost 40 years 🙂 I am grateful.

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