A while ago I sent this as my first blog posting for dotMagis. Today there is an update. In December of 2009, I wrote:I went to a funeral Monday morning; the mother of a friend. She was about 95 and left behind a grieving husband who will turn 99 next month. They had been married for 73 years. I sat in church and pondered that kind of love and commitment. Seventy-three years? For those of us who have been married a long time, there are days you wonder if you will make it seven years, then you wonder if you can make it to 12, then 25. Marriage is so hard on some days and so glorious on most of the other ones. By far the joyful days outnumber the bad days, but you have to marry your spouse every single morning when you get out of bed. You have to make that promise to love and cherish all over again for the next 24 hours.
I think we are attracted to people we marry because they are different than we are – they fill in things we don’t have in ourselves. Those who are hard-driving might find themselves married to a soft-spoken, gentle sort. The extroverts to the introverts. The joyfully fun-loving to the serious and determined. Later, on the hard days, it’s probably the very things that attracted us to each other that are the things that drive us crazy. It’s not always easy to see the sacred in each other on the bad days.
You marry for your entire life, but each day is a new commitment. Day by day, week by week, decade by decade, until the young woman you met in your village in Italy, the “prettiest girl in town,” has been your companion in life for 73 years. The loss of that person leads to the kind of sorrow and grief and emptiness that only our faith can fill and the hope of salvation we have been promised for so long.
Yesterday, I received an e-mail from the daughter who said that her father had died. She wrote, “My dad died this morning at 11:05 at Hospice House. Peaceful. I think if he was sending this message he would wave goodbye and say:
God has been good. I have had a good life. I wish you a good life; God’s blessing. And now I am on my way to be with the “prettiest girl in town.”
Such wonderful insight! I’ve been given a new perspective on how best to renew marriage vows on a day-to-day basis. Just on our third year but I feel we’ve been through our worst fights and that it is just the beginning. What keeps us glued I believe is our faith and trust in God.
Gaelic Storm – She Was The Prize
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0O2cH_PnMc
I’ve lived a long life
And now I’m looking back
It’s the end of the road
The last stop on the track
And I smile as think of my true love once more
The light of my life
The one I adore
she…she was the prize
the prettiest girl with the loveliest eyes
she…she was the prize
shiny black hair and those lovely… those a lovely brown eyes
i met her one night at the harvest fair dance
i longed for a whisper, i hoped for a glance
then she turned and she smiled and i melted away
and i knew i’d be with her ’till my dying day
she…she was the prize
the prettiest girl with the loveliest eyes
she…she was the prize
shiny black hair and those lovely… ah those a lovely brown eyes
we lay on the cliffs
and we walked hand in hand
we threw stones at the waves
we drew hearts in the sand
with out warning clouds rolled in and blackened the sun
and when they rolled out
my light she was gone
she…she was the prize
the prettiest girl with the lovliest eyes
she…she was the prize
shiny black hair and those lovely… those a lovely brown eyes
i’ve shed all my tears
and i’ve said my goodbyes
now i lay myself down
where my pretty girl lies
and when i awake i’ll be on earth no more
i’ll be dancing a jig with the girl i adore
she…she was the prize
the prettiest girl with the lovliest eyes
she…she was the prize
shiny black hair and those lovely… those a lovely brown eyes
My wife and I are coming up on our 34th, your post above is quote timely, many thanks.
Tim
Beautiful, Jim, thank you. I’m nearing 43 years with the “prettiest girl in town,” and it is a marvel, a treasure, how couples become so intertwined in and with each other as the years pass. Matrimony is one of God’s most beautiful gifts, but He requires that we work at it and keep it fresh each day.