My Usual Way of Examen

I recently prayed through Fr. Mark Thibodeaux’s Reimagining the Ignatian Examen, an innovative and challenging collection of Examen prayers. I did this with a handful of friends, some of whom were new to Ignatian spirituality. Approaching this foundational Ignatian prayer in the company of fresh eyes deepened my own experience of the Examen, highlighting words and phrases that I often brush past too quickly.

One such example, raised by one of the Ignatian newcomers, was, What does it mean to begin an Examen “in my usual way”? Fr. Thibodeaux begins each of his Examens with this point to begin in the so-called “usual way.”

This instruction is grounded in the Ignatian tradition, drawn from the Spiritual Exercises. St. Ignatius begins most of his meditations by telling the exercitant to engage in “the usual preparatory prayer.” What does he mean?

It’s a good question. “Catholics might bless themselves,” I said. “It’s an invitation to a fully embodied prayer. How you sit or stand while at prayer and where your prayer takes place—these kinds of things account for your ‘usual way’ of doing the Examen.”

“Well,” my friend replied, “what’s your usual way?”

Another good question—and one that demanded some thought. I have some books I read before and after my Examen, with a quote from the mystics and the day’s Gospel passage. I try to journal after my Examen, which, while not a preparatory prayer, is still key to my experience.

I do all this in the morning, preferably after I’ve gotten some exercise in and before my girls come clamoring down the steps. The lights are soft, the house is quiet, and I sit in our cozy living room, usually cross-legged on the floor.

That provided a satisfactory answer for my friend, but I’ve come back to the question again and again, in part because I love this Ignatian instruction. I love the invitation to shape my own prayer experience and the reminder that I bring something unique—of body, mind, and spirit—to the daily practice. It’s ritual, pure and simple. The act of prayer is an outward sign of its inner purpose; we are uniquely and “wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and placed in a specific time and setting.

But what this question from my friend and my consequent response have helped me see is an obstacle in my prayer. I love “my usual way” of entering into prayer. But I don’t always get the chance to begin my day in such a state of peace.

I oversleep or purposefully ignore the call of those dumbbells and my stationary bike. My girls come downstairs too early or have a bad dream and wind up asleep on my face. The cats get into a fight or throw up on the floor, or I just waste too much time scrolling through my phone or making the coffee. All of this amounts to “my usual way” being thrown into chaos. And my usual response becomes, I guess I’m not praying today.

The real challenge, then, that my friends offered me and that I now offer to you is: Discover your usual way of prayer, the unique ritual through which you enter into God’s presence. But don’t let that become an excuse for ignoring prayer when your days inevitably fall short of those perfect conditions.

“My usual way” is simply the one that brings me to God by way of the people, places, and things God has already placed in my path: those early-rising daughters, the rambunctious duo of cats, and my own reluctance to drag myself out of bed and work up a sweat.

Those things, too, are pathways to God—and they’re uniquely mine. What are your pathways?

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.