HomedotMagisReflectionsChoose Values, Not Sides

Choose Values, Not Sides

On the night of a particularly painful news story of a bombing in a UN-protected school in Gaza filled with refugees, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed to see a relative had posted a picture of the flag of Israel and the statement, “I stand with Israel.” My insides clinched as images of dead children repeated in my mind. Tending to avoid conflict and particularly political debates via the Internet, I just scrolled on. But other articles in multiple venues about polarization and incivility continued to jump out at me, especially those that blame “the other side” for the polarization. When we demonize “the other side” in any debate, we have lost sight of their humanity.

One of the gifts I love about the wisdom of Jesus is his capacity to surprise people who assumed he would be “on their side.”

  • The man who claims to have followed the law perfectly and wants now to follow Jesus seems like a perfect candidate to be a disciple, and yet Jesus says, “Go sell all your possessions first.”
  • The disciples discuss which of them will be first in heaven, and Jesus calls over a little child.
  • The Pharisees seek to trick him into defying Roman rule, and he supports both giving to Caesar and to God.

If Jesus ever “takes a side,” it seems most clearly to be found in the Beatitudes: Blessed are (or maybe “I side with”) the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure of heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted. Jesus doesn’t choose sides. He chooses values.

St. Ignatius taught us to always be aware of our attachments—be it to country, political party, family, or cause. When we find ourselves more attached to “our side” than our values, chances are the spirit-not-of-God is at play. The cornerstone of Ignatian spirituality is self-awareness of what is truly driving us and a willingness to take off our blinders to the labels we have given the world. It means having the courage to admit when “our side” has not upheld our values. It seems in our world these days, we are far quicker to label the other than to unlabel ourselves. If instead living our values becomes the primary objective of whatever we are doing, it doesn’t matter which “side” we are on.

Lisa Kelly
Lisa Kelly
Lisa Kelly is an Ignatian Associate living in Omaha, Nebraska. She applies a Master’s in Public Policy from Harvard and a Master’s in Christian Spirituality, with a certificate in the Ignatian Tradition, from Creighton University to incorporating spirituality into personal and organizational growth. As a co-director of the nonprofit La Storta and an accompanier for the Discerning Leadership Program, she facilitates retreats and leadership development. She is the author of The Spiritual Path. Now, with four grown children and a 30+ year marriage filling her heart, Lisa is a grateful cancer and bone marrow transplant survivor, believing every day is a gift.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you Lisa. You and Family, having lived in those different countries would have a greater insight than some of us. Very insightful reading. Thought provoking. I don’t think Any Side is right all the time. It is a crazy mixed up world. A,M.D.G. God Bless.

  2. I ,also, was impressed by a different approach to”taking sides” in conflicts. This article shows us that the wisdom of Jesus always prevails. Now I have to evaluate what living my values really means. “Jesus doesn’t choose sides. He chooses values” Thank you, Lisa

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