Angry at God

angry characterA friend of mine recently shared that her daughter was angry with God. A dear friend was facing cancer and her daughter was sure God could do something but wasn’t, and she was mad. Anger is an understandable stage in the grief process. We want someone to blame. In our desperation to make things right, we begin to think of God as someone we can bargain with, persuade, cajole, or beg into fulfilling our wish list. God becomes Santa Claus, and when we don’t get what we pray for, we begin to wonder if the myth is real.

We’ve all been told God is love, not love as a forlorn romantic emotion, but a power that defies logic, money, time, and even human capacity. This Love is not a being so far removed from our experience that it can easily be forgotten, but one so intimately close to us as to be within us in every moment, every step, every ache, and every prayer. When the myth of the “Santa Claus God” begins to crumble and anger dominates our faith life, try inserting “Love” in place of the word “God.” To say, “I am so angry at Love for allowing this to happen!” doesn’t quite make sense. But to stand in the face of our greatest tragedies and fears and search desperately within ourselves for the capacity to respond in love is what prayer is all about.

The power of Love does not promise an easy road in any given situation—or should I say the power of God does not promise an easy road. Love will at times break your heart, not as a test or a punishment, but because it calls forth the very best in us, something that we have to dig deep to find and risk, without reward or guarantee of success. In the most heart-wrenching of situations, God can indeed do something. God can give us the capacity to be in solidarity with those who are suffering, to act with justice, and to walk the most challenging of journeys, believing ultimately in Resurrection.

Lisa Kelly
Lisa Kelly
Lisa Kelly is an Ignatian Associate living in Omaha, Nebraska. She applies a Master’s in Public Policy from Harvard and a Master’s in Christian Spirituality, with a certificate in the Ignatian Tradition, from Creighton University to incorporating spirituality into personal and organizational growth. As a co-director of the nonprofit La Storta and an accompanier for the Discerning Leadership Program, she facilitates retreats and leadership development. She is the author of The Spiritual Path. Now, with four grown children and a 30+ year marriage filling her heart, Lisa is a grateful cancer and bone marrow transplant survivor, believing every day is a gift.

6 COMMENTS

  1. I find this to be such an interesting answer that I hope to keep exploring “Love will at times break your heart, not as a test or a punishment, but because it calls forth the very best in us” Thank you for your support.

  2. Thank you, Lisa, for this very timely post. I have found myself angry at life as it is (the frequency of public hate slipping quickly into violence, a friend recuperating from a serious motorcycle accident, etc. etc.). God can indeed do something and always does. God reveals Godself in each day’s reality if we but have the eyes to see. My anger blinds me. Humility opens my eyes. Jesus embodies a faith that “suffers reality” moment by moment. Paradoxically that is the way to eternal life–NOW.

    • So perfectly said, “we have to have the eyes to see” and yet anger gets in the way. Ironic how we think our anger is somehow going to help the situation. Thank YOU for being willing to see it for what it is.

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