Often, we think about freedom as freedom from interference from others, but St. Ignatius understood freedom differently. For him, human freedom is a freedom to grow in relationship with God and share in God’s redemptive work. This requires internal freedom or what Ignatius called “indifference.” Indifference means being detached enough from things, people, or experiences to be able either to take them up or to leave them aside, depending on whether they help us to “to praise, reverence, and serve God” (Spiritual Exercises 23). In other words, it’s the capacity to let go of what doesn’t help me to love God or love others—while staying engaged with what does.
Indifference does not mean not caring. One can be indifferent and yet be deeply passionate. In fact, since God is love and God’s redemptive work takes place through love, we cannot be indifferent in the Ignatian sense unless we love and love deeply. Each time that I became a new mother, I fell in love with my baby, in a way that led me to feel great reverence for the giftedness of this child’s existence. Contemplating the beauty of sunlight sparkling off ocean waves often leads me to a sense of wonder and praise. The delight that I feel about prayerful, mutually supportive friendships leads me to feel gratitude. But indifference means that when the baby grows up, the friend moves away, or a day at the ocean is cloudy, I can still find ways to love God and people.
This is not always easy. I have been pulled off-course often. Ignatius names attachment to wealth, health, long life, and status as obstacles. Lately I have been noticing how much the stories that we tell ourselves can limit our freedom too. For example, consider how often we think, “If only I were not sick with this illness (or received this promotion, or healed this broken relationship, or…), then I would be happy.”
But when was the last time that any of us said, “I am so happy because I have never had cancer,” or, “Because I am grateful to have a steady job, I will never complain about any of my coworkers again”? Probably we ought to practice such gratitude. As a spiritual director once emphasized to me, everything is a gift. Nothing and no one belongs to us. Every beloved person and every good creation belongs to God, including me. And there can be a kind of delightful freedom available in learning and accepting this—even if sometimes I resist!
But I suspect that gratitude alone will still not get us all the way to Ignatian indifference. For me, freedom nearly always comes from getting back to knowing that God loves me as an unrepeatable, unique creation. From that basic knowledge of being loved, two things become possible. First, I learn that I have worth apart from any of the things or people in the world that are present or absent from my life. God loves me as I am—with all my talents, quirks, and failings. I am enough for God, and God is enough for me. Second, when God’s love is at the core of my identity, then I am attentively aware that I, too, have the capacity to love, no matter where life takes me.
When we are grounded in God’s love, then we can love when our relationships are flourishing, and we can love when we feel grief. We can love when we are well or when we are ill. We can always choose to love, because we are never undertaking love alone, but always in friendship with God, who always wants to create something new and good. God’s love and friendship are the foundation of indifference.
Great sharing. Thanks Marina. This indifference term has been a theme for this year for me. God led me to your article right on time. Of course ! That’s who he is. Thanks for being led by The Spirit in your writings. Blessings.
Needed to hear these words at 2am. A time of walking in a fog of uncertainty. Thanks Marina!
I have always liked the concept of ‘indifference’, seeing it as a result of self discipline. I would imagine denying, or try to deny myself a thing or even a person or experience as a sort of test of my detachment. Sometimes it would go well, sometimes I would fail. However, it always came back to my ability to control myself, to my own power…of course it was ‘for’ God and so I thought it was me and that abstract ‘god’ that was always around keeping an eye on things.
Recently, because of issues in my marriage I grew tired enough that I simply gave up on my ability to control things and more or less threw my hands up. For one of the few times in life I heard God’s voice…more or less a whisper (probably why I don’t often hear it). It began a journey with Ignatius via Fr. Bill Watson, S.J. and his Forty Weeks program. What I have begun to learn that relates to indifference is that it has very little to do with my self discipline. It has mostly to do with my powerlessness, which is really the opposite of self discipline. Self discipline appeals to me, powerlessness does not…but, having tasted of the reward of understanding the benefit of seeing God anew in my powerlessness I have a realization that it ought to be more appealing. The program also offers a means to get there, where it is appealing, through learning to operate away from fear and by learning to allow God’s timeline to be the timeline I operate on.
I’m still a ways off from any consistency with all this but I am seemingly committed and hopeful at week 23 of the 40 weeks. I believe there is a 41st chapter entitled ‘Week Eternity’…but you’re not allowed to read ahead…
great testimony thank you,
Dear Marina,
“God loves me as I am……”
Thank you so much for this fantsatic article. May the Lord continue to fill you with wisdom from on high.
Stay blessed!
Martin
“I am enough for God, and God is enough for me”. These words are most alive for me when I read sacred Scripture. In my journal last night I noted Hebrews 4:12.
Marina, I stumble a bit over the expression ‘I am so happy because I have never had cancer.” I was diagnosed with breast cancer at a fairly young age with a ten year old at the time. I came to look at it as a gift but the comments from others that were “off” a bit come back to me when I read something like this. Being grounded in God’s love is the basis, I think, to handle whatever comes our way.
In trying to pin down the concept of dignity,cannot do better than yours”I learn that I have worth apart from any of the things or people in my world- God loves me as I am” Thanks
When Gods love is at the core of my identity!! Thank you Marina! God Bless.
Thank you for these wonderful words… I will carry them with me throughout my day…..
I will sing forever of your Love Oh Lord….
Thank you for this wonderful reflection. I have had to live through God leading me down a far different life path than I had every planned. I have slowly come to realise, through doing the Spititual Exercises and lots of prayer, that God has put me where He needs me to be and doing what He has given me to do. And, God does this for each of us.
All is a blessing.
It seems that your words have been written to place them in my own heart and mind, especially at this time in my life. I am where I am meant to be at present. Thank you, Russ.
Excellent article. Very well-expressed. Thank you very much.
Dear Lynda, You are welcome. Peace.
This article is beautifully stated, Marina. I will carry it in my heart beyond today. As you stated: “Everything is gift.” And it’s all from a loving Creator…. so many blessings to you and yours…
With gratitude, Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne. Wishing you many blessings.
Beautifully stated. Yes, an often currious term indeed. This would make a wonderful homily or lesson for a theology class in high school. Guess who’s going to use it with students!! Thank you so much Marina… this is an exellent commentary.
You are welcome. I hope the students find it helpful.
Simple,clear and deep.
Thanks Marina.
Thank you for the kind words, Bimal. Blessings.
Beautifully explained. Thank you. 🙏
You are welcome, Thomas. Peace to you and yours.
This Is a keeper !!!!!!! Needed this very much at this time
Thank you!!!
You are welcome. Blessings.
This is a perfectly beautiful rendition to an often misunderstood Ignatian term! I can’t wait to use it in my retreats of the Exercises that I give for Lent and Advent. I can totally relate to each example. It makes this real and easy to relate! Thank you, Marina, great article! And to Ignatian Spirituality for including it in the daily emails. Blessings, Marie🙏😊👍
Thank you for your kind words. Many blessings to you and your retreatants.